Designing with Confidence: Embrace Your Unique Aesthetic

Designing your home or garden can feel like a daunting task. Many people struggle with balancing personal taste, budget constraints, and uncertainty about how to create a space that feels like “them.” Often, what results is a house that looks like it’s ready to be listed for sale—polished, generic, and void of personality. We’ve all seen homes that feel lifeless, as if they were designed to appeal to the broadest audience rather than the people who actually live there. These “staged” homes, while neat and tidy, often lack warmth, soul, and the intimate connection that comes from truly curated design.

So, what does it mean to create a curated space that is uniquely yours? It’s about designing with intention, confidence, and a deep understanding of what resonates with you personally. Curation, in this context, is more than just selecting objects and placing them in a room; it’s the thoughtful process of gathering elements that reflect who you are, your tastes, your memories, and your values. Curated spaces are the ones where you feel connected and inspired by every detail—spaces that tell your story.

Here’s how I take a home or garden from “staged” to “curated” and design with confidence:

1. Understand the Power of Emotional Response

Your home and garden should evoke feelings of comfort, relaxation, and joy. The places you spend time in directly influence your mental state and well-being. Let’s start by reflecting on the environments that make you feel at ease and uplifted.

• Color: Do you gravitate towards calming blues and greens, or do vibrant reds and oranges energize you? Choose colors that align with the emotions you want to foster in each space.

• Nature: Incorporating natural elements like plants, wood, and stone taps into our inherent need to connect with nature. Consider how you feel when you’re surrounded by greenery or the sound of running water—this is biophilia at work, and it can have a profound effect on your mood.

Here in the desert, I find that I am drawn to purples, greens, and creams when it comes to plantings so my garden is full of plants that showcase these colors. They create a sense of ease for me. I find that I feel a little anxious with all the brown homes and brown ground in the desert so I choose to offset that with the tones in my garden.

2. Know Your Personal Style

Your style is not something you should have to guess or imitate. It’s a reflection of your personality, experiences, and preferences. To uncover your personal style, ask yourself these questions:

• What’s my personality type? If you’re organized and detail-oriented, you might be drawn to minimalist, clean lines and structured spaces. If you’re creative and adventurous, you may prefer eclectic designs that combine different styles and influences. If you’re both organized and detail-oriented and creative and adventurous, (like me!) your style likely blends structure with spontaneity—something like "Refined Eclecticism" or "Curated Whimsy." You appreciate order but also crave the unexpected, balancing clean lines with personality-filled moments. I tell clients this is where precision meets play – Think of a beautifully arranged gallery wall where every frame is thoughtfully placed, but the art itself is bold, textured, and full of life. Or a minimalist backdrop that serves as a canvas for carefully chosen statement pieces—each one telling a story. A good example of this style is to take a glance at my Pinterest feed.

  I believe in a style that blends refined structure with playful creativity—a balance of order and originality, function and personality. I call it Curated Eclecticism.

  Imagine a home where every object has a place but also a story. Where a modern, neutral sofa sits next to a sculptural antique table. Where an airy, well-planned garden is softened by wild, climbing vines. It’s about creating harmony between the intentional and the unexpected, the polished and the personal.

What memories do I cherish? Sometimes our aesthetic preferences are deeply tied to past experiences. Does a piece of furniture remind you of a loved one? Are there flowers you remember from your childhood garden? Do you have a glass jar in your laundry room full of seashells your babies collected from the beach trips you’ve taken? Incorporating nostalgic elements into your design will help make your space feel personal and meaningful.

3. Embrace Functionality and Flow

Functionality is key in creating a space that is not only beautiful but livable. A well-designed space should flow seamlessly and cater to your daily needs. Consider how you want to use each room or garden space:

• Is it a social space? If you love hosting gatherings, prioritize comfortable seating and plenty of space for guests to move around.

• Is it a quiet retreat? For spaces meant for relaxation or reflection, focus on creating an atmosphere that feels calm and serene.

Functionality and aesthetic don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Combining both is what creates a truly harmonious environment.

This Suffolk home beautifully balances functionality and warmth, proving that a space can be both practical and inviting. Thoughtfully selected materials—like the tactile rush dining chairs, sturdy wooden table, and layered lighting—create an environment that is comfortable for everyday living yet visually curated. Every detail, from the intimate fireside mantel to the cozy reading nook framed by natural light, reflects a design ethos where beauty seamlessly serves a purpose.

Here are a few more views of this listing as I love the entirety of the space because it really has such a beautiful flow and freedom to how you use the space and yet it is dependably functional.

4. Curate, Don’t Stage

Staged homes often feel sterile because they prioritize universal appeal over personal meaning. A home that feels curated, on the other hand, reflects who you are. Begin by selecting items that you love, not just what looks good in a catalog. Curating is about gathering pieces that resonate with your values and experiences, rather than forcing your space to fit trends.

• Start with what you already have: Rather than purchasing a lot of new things, begin by incorporating meaningful pieces you already own. This could be a vintage chair, a cherished painting, or a beloved family heirloom.

• Layer in personal touches: Display items that tell your story—whether it’s travel mementos, photographs, or handmade items. These create an authentic atmosphere that no store-bought accessory can replicate.

5. Use Simple Design Principles

While the process of curating may seem overwhelming, breaking it down into digestible tips can make it easier:

• Start with neutral foundations: Begin with neutral colors for walls and large furniture pieces, then build upon them with colorful or textured accents. This creates flexibility for changes over time and lets the personality of the room emerge.

• Balance and proportion: Use symmetry or asymmetry to create balance in a room. A properly scaled rug, furniture placement, and art can make a significant difference in how a space feels.

• Don’t overcrowd: Give each piece room to breathe. Too many items can make a space feel chaotic and disorganized. Curate your space with a mindful balance of empty space and thoughtfully placed objects.

6. Design with Intention

Remember that design is not about perfection—it’s about creating a space that supports how you want to live. Don’t be afraid to experiment or make mistakes. Over time, your aesthetic will evolve as you refine your taste and grow more comfortable in your design choices.

• Trust your instincts: If a design choice makes you smile or feel at peace, trust that it’s the right one for you.

• Invest in pieces that matter: While it’s tempting to make short-term choices based on trends, invest in items that have lasting value to you—whether it’s furniture that reflects your style, plants that remind you of the outdoors, or art that connects with your soul.

Originally I had planned a stucco surround for this clients courtyard retreat. Both of us felt it a bit vanilla, but we wanted it to be crisp and refreshing. Then one day this client remembered seeing a surround at a old tile shop almost five years ago. She texted are darling friend who runs the store and the surround was still there! She bought it immediately and we made it happen! It has been the perfect investment to an already stunning plan.

Above all: Embrace Your Style with Confidence

Designing your home and garden is a deeply personal process, and it’s essential to honor your unique preferences and tastes. When you understand the science behind what makes a space feel right, you can design with confidence, curate thoughtfully, and create a space that feels truly yours. Let go of the notion that your home must meet anyone else’s standard or look like something out of a magazine. Trust yourself, embrace what you love, and curate an environment that reflects the life you want to lead—one that feels comforting, inspiring, and entirely you.